Sam Zell was an iconoclastic risk-taker, adventurer, contrarian, industrialist, and quite simply one of the great entrepreneurs of our time.
For me, Sam Zell was my mentor. And less than two months before his passing, he gave me two precious gifts.
My 35-year-long mentorship with Sam began in 1988, sparked by my sincere interest in speaking with him on campus in Ann Arbor. I was 18 years old, and the quick conversation following his speech led to him inviting me to Chicago to meet the following week. Which led to a summer internship after my freshman year of college. Thus began a mentorship in which I sat with him – in person – nearly every month, listening, learning, sharing, reflecting, and more.
Sam occupied the same office for the entirety of our relationship. More than 500 times, I walked into his office with thoughts and questions and then walked out – most often an hour or more later — with wisdom and perspective. Sam’s passing this week led to public acclaim and appreciation from leaders around the world. Less than two months ago, Sam gave me two gifts.
The first gift was his push for me to produce the stage play – inspired by my relationship with Sam – that I’ve written and been editing (off-and-on!) for five years. Tentatively titled ‘The Mentor’, the drama speaks to the profound relationship between mentor and mentee. During our last meeting, he encouraged me to continue exploring my bounds and to get the play out in the world. Over the past year I’ve done four table reads with acclaimed actors. I’ve now decided to present the play in New York City with an Off-Broadway theater company, likely later this year or early next.
The second gift is the last conversation Sam and I ever had. It now serves as the foundation of a project I’m committed to, titled Rules of Mentorship. Less than two months before his passing, my last conversation with Sam was fortuitously filmed with a camera crew of three and a sound technician. Please allow me to explain…
While 35-year-long mentorships are rare, what’s even rarer is a mentee being able to express sincere gratitude on film with a professional film crew. My idea of an on-camera discussion with Sam came shortly after I was honored in Monaco as the global overall 2019 EY World Entrepreneur of the Year. After my parents, the next person I called was Sam, telling him about my impromptu tribute to him in the acceptance speech. As was typical for Sam, he deflected my gratitude.
Something in my gut didn’t feel right – I wanted him to feel my appreciation fully. I wanted a chance to look him in the eyes, face to face, and tell him how important he has been to me. I wanted to take the gift of mentorship he’s given me, and channel it into something greater — as a tribute to Sam.
I believe in the biblical proverb ‘to whom much is given, much will be required.’ In this case, my translation has been to pay this remarkable mentorship forward by serving as a mentor to others – which I’ve done to many people over the years. Yet the magnitude of my appreciation for Sam led to a bigger idea – I want to create a framework for the mostly undefined ‘rules’ of mentorship.
I’m often asked how one finds a mentor, what elements define a great mentorship, and how such a relationship evolves over time. My idea was to mine my relationship with Sam as the basis of a framework of mentorship. I decided to call it Rules of Mentorship.
The concept was born in late 2019, and I immediately shared it with Sam. I told him I wanted to record an interview in which he and I would discuss what mentorship is all about, why it matters, and how to frame its elements. He instantly agreed to have an on-camera conversation on mentorship with me – game on!
And then I did what we humans often do – I procrastinated setting up the formal interview. While I made progress interviewing many of the ‘wise elders’ in my life about their views on the rules of mentorship, I delayed setting a time for the interview with Sam. Until four months ago. During lunch with Sam and his wife Helen, I shared my passion for the mentorship project, and we decided to set a firm date. I’d interview Sam in his office, with a professional film crew, in late March 2023.
As it turned out, that was my final conversation with Sam — less than two months before his passing.
For nearly 90 minutes, I was able to look Sam directly in the eyes, feeling his energy and sharing mine. I expressed my heartfelt gratitude for his giving me so much of his most precious resource – his time and wisdom. We spoke about his mentors, the people who did the same for him as he did for me. He provided insight into our first meeting, back in 1988, and what he sensed that spurred him to invite me to Chicago, and then to take me on as a mentee. He shared his thoughts on the ‘rules’ of mentorship, and the guidance he’d give young people interested in bringing mentors into their life.
In full presence, I was able to say thank you to Sam. Which, I suppose, is all a mentee can do, given the priceless impact of a mentor’s time and wisdom. I paused as I told him that his mentorship of me has been foundational in my life, hoping the momentary silence would let my gratitude sink into his soul.
As a tribute to Sam, I’ve decided to move the Rules of Mentorship project out of my ‘work in process’ file and into ‘time to get it done’ mode. My intention is to publish Rules of Mentorship in 2024. And to use the extraordinary footage of my final conversation with Sam as the foundation of the related video project.
Rules of Mentorship is meant as a guide to finding a mentor, cultivating great mentorship, and contextualizing how mentorship adds to the richness of a life well lived. I’ll share my learnings as a mentee of many world-class achievers from diverse fields, including philosophers and neuroscientists, tattoo artists and poets, and lots of businesspeople. The punchline is a framework (aka ‘rules’) that can be used widely to spark the vibrant flame of mentorship.
I was one of the fortunate mentees whose flame was sparked by the legendary, once-in-a-generation business giant, Sam Zell. Fueled by thousands of hours spent listening, learning, sharing, and reflecting with Sam, my flame is burning stronger than ever.
I will miss Sam dearly.